We do not know sufficient whether it will be a drama-filled mire for you or not about him and his relationship with his wife to know. Plenty of poly individuals i am aware are good communicators and generally speaking low-drama visitors to date.
A few items to think of.
A) Jealousy takes place, also for non-monogamous individuals. What goes on if you obtain jealous? What are the results if she gets jealous? Can it be fine to share these exact things? Is he conscientious enough to worry about your emotions even if you aren’t the main partner?
B) discernment. It will be much simpler for your needs in the event that next-door neighbors do not know.
C) You state that you don’t want a critical relationship, but think because specifically you want from someone you are casually dating as you can about what. Seeing each other as soon as every weeks that are few? Once weekly?
D) Logistics. Does he come up to your house because you are otherwise solitary? Can you head out and then write out in the seat that is back teenagers?
If you choose to go forward, go on it really sluggish to see the manner in which you feel at each and every phase. Be truthful together with your emotions and discover just just just how he responds to that particular sincerity. If you ask me, worthwhile folks are ready to talk you throughout your insecurities and place you at simplicity. Posted by mai at 3:22 PM on January 2, 2014
I will offer the minority viewpoint, at the very least conditionally.
This couple are recognized to the OP, whom did not understand that they were in an open relationship from them, or through the gossips. Rating one for going ahead, they’re (apparently) discreet, and will manage the downs without it going general general public.
Research costs absolutely absolutely nothing. Therefore talk they made it work about it, both the relationship issues and the practicalities – HOW have? Rating two for going ahead, you will be risking absolutely absolutely nothing in speaking. The gossips are saying, and see if you are missing any stories floating around at the same time, open your ears to anything.
These are generally risking just as much, more possibly, while you. There is certainly an implication that they understand sufficient in regards to you to think you (as an individual, not only a scenario) could be available, and ‘suitable’ to take part in their available relationship. Place this in advance – why me? – to check out whatever they state beyond ‘well, you might be available these days’. In the event that response goes beyond the crudities (nevertheless phrased), you have got one thing to do business with and consider, then score three for taking place (considering).
This might be an interesting, enjoyable interlude, for six days, half a year, that knows? Yes you can find complications, dangers, but hey, this is the life that is dating.
As a daddy of (now developed) young ones, than I would have been about my ex’s reaction if I was confronted with this possibility I would have been less concerned about my children finding out about my sex life. In every this, this may be the offer breaker for you personally, and as opposed to the possibility to getting set, this could function as the presssing problem that bears probably the most contemplating. Posted by GeeEmm at 3:55 PM on January 2, 2014
I am maybe perhaps not gonna provide you with the “parents” talk.
We have always been planning to let you know this. It would appear that both his as well as your young ones appear to know one another and you also are now living in the neighborhood that is same. Exactly what if say his spouse DOESN’T consent after you’ve had some types of intimate knowledge about this guy? Imagine if she harasses you? Let’s say he actually is a nut work?
Imagine if for reasons uknown some body finds away that is shared buddies with the two of you?
Then let’s say your children would discover? Imagine if you then become the neighborhood gossip (you will likely be on the blacklist of each and every married girl in your area or at your kids’s college). Keep that life split. Venture out in the weekends once you do not have your children. But do not end up getting this man, it is too close for convenience (for the young ones).
I would personally find some other person, this man might be benefiting from you. Posted by irish01 at 4:51 PM on 2, 2014 3 favorites january
I will be therefore grateful for all your thoughtful and answers that are compassionate. Plainly, we required a real possibility check, and thanks, MeFi, for delivering it. I’m types of embarrassed since I had to negotiate relationships and boundaries that I needed The Internet to offer some advice here, but it’s been 20 years or so. And I also had been 22 roughly then, and, well, knew absolutely absolutely nothing. Therefore, many thanks for the training. I think I necessary to reach the idea that “there is nothing incorrect with available relationships, per se, but this 1, for me personally here and today, is a poor option. ” And that is fine — it is a world that is big here.
Therefore many thanks all. Completely worth my anonymous Ask. Merry Brand Brand New 12 Months, y’all.
OP, you have got no explanation whatsover to feel embarrassed! These items is not simple for anybody, and particularly in a very unique situation like yours, it isn’t like there’s an Emily Post entry for this (well possibly there clearly was, we have actuallyn’t read her in a little while! ).